Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Leave The Phenomenon Alone!

Post number 190,

Gale (Trimble) dear. You, one girl, just on girl from Walton – On – Thames made it out there to make up for the likes of Darren , the pillock, and Jack the Lad my friend. And now, people criticise you because you are a woman.

Congrats for winning University Challenge, Oxford.

Although Darren can’t string two words together to save his life (he hasn’t a clue what my reply to the consultant means, bless him), but he does have a heart of gold. I once lent my bike to his lay about teenage adopted son to go and get a job, which he did (!) he wore the breaks down on my bike. Darren threw the bike away and bought me a new one! It’s always people like Darren who pay the price. Not this time.

Don’t you worry about a thing, dear. You have me now. Next time you are home, go and have a cuppa with Alan and Mary who are also my friends. Alan will roll you up a Golden Virginia (the brand I smoke), and if you don’t smoke, give it to the dog. She does! She weighs about a ton and takes (drags, more like it) Alan for a walk every day.

Any way, you read them books about petrology (what has petrol got to do with rocks?), and every thing. You will need them later to deal with the kind of people I deal with. Some of them, women (Hillary), and Jacqui Smith, the copy cat Home Secretary. You see, my own woman police officer, Michel Carney of Egham Police is a double agent. She tells Jacqui some of the stuff I do and Jacqui announces them over at the PMQs and elsewhere. British jobs for British people, was my line and she stole it. Never mind.

How do you rate my political science, Oxford? Not bad for a dry cleaner, hey?



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