Friday, 27 February 2009

I have won the Lottery. Just like That!

Post number 198

Michel Carney, Egham Police

Unlike Jack Straw’s spammers, this one has about 10% chance of being genuine. The money source is South Africa, not Nigeria:

"""National Lottery Headquarters
Customer Services/Claims Department
Reference numbers RF2052007/21
Batch numbers BT 12/53/0034

A whole page of details, then:

Telephone: 0027737699928

Once again, congratulations from the entire staff of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY

Signed Mrs Gina Cruz,

Online coordinator for UK MEGA JACKPOT PROMO""".

Apparently, they had entered my e-mail address in a draw, and it has won.

No sooner than I hit the send button for post number 197 that my winnings of £820,000 was e-mailed to me. It beats Sir RBS’ annual pension of £650,000, doesn’t it? Gocha, Sir!

Any way, our old Jack Straw is a good liar, isn’t he? Man, is he good? I am referring to his vetoing the Iraqi War minutes of the meeting in the Commons the other day. So much confidence, so much conviction that I nearly threw in the towel and was just about to e-mail President Obama to forget every thing. He should go back to Illinois, because I was going to re instate George W. back in the White House, bring Rumsfeld back and all the rest of them.

They could have then smashed Venezuela, Gaza, Syria, Iran, North Korea, and Cuba, and that would have been it. They would have had the whole world and our old Jack could have been the Minister of Justice for the entire globe.

That’s how good our Jack is, Mr President. If you ever wanted any one to lye for you, I can get Edwina to bundle old Jack on the next available flight and he will convince any one for you. Give us a yell.

What drug was he on? 'Yo' Blair... And from me: Oy, Mandleson!

Any way, it’s not old Jack I am worried about. It’s the young one, his son who was the president of Oxford Union. WHAT THE HELL IS HE UP TO THESE DAYS?

That’s what I want to know, Gale Trimble, dear. Just read all them books on both Straws. Don’t forget Hansard, the goddamned Parliamentary papers (full of lies). Then e-mail your findings to Jeremy Paxman to read on Newsnight.

Mohammad Karim Ahmadzai,
Team Leader, Earth Projects

PS Spam e-mailers: Keep on hitting Jack Straw until he publishes the War minutes on the internet so that I don’t have to extract them out of him. Brilliant. Spammers as my friends, hey! Use blog material for some of your spams, 'Nigerians'. Go for it.


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