Friday, 20 February 2009

Britain is no longer a NATO member

Post number 183

Your Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

My Englishman historian has been in touch mam. I appreciate Lord Winston being heavily engaged with his academic and broadcasting work. As such, not much of an active role can be expected from him, and that is precisely where I fit in.

In my role as the team leader, I can deputise for him, and run the martial law government owing to the plight of our forces in Afghanistan, mainly. Let me be blunt with the nation and the world at large: Who says Britain had lost less than 150 soldiers in Afghanistan? Has there been a body count? Can we rely on the window dresser figures? We certainly cannot.

The only way we can have a realistic idea of our losses would be to poll the nation and ask every family to come forward who has lost a dear one in Afghanistan. Mightn’t we end up with 1000s rather than 100 plus? We can’t even do that. Let us use this blog instead. I formally invite the nation to log in one by one their losses. I’ll bet any one that I will not get a single entry!!!

That is how occupied we are.

When I asked my Englishman historian to get in touch, I was also hoping I would hear a hint or a clue in the press or media from our military leaders wishing to meet with me. Not a sound, mam. Some sources do. The deputy governor of the Bank of England reiterated his wish to print money in a matter of a few weeks. Window dresser Gordon Brown knocked it on the head all the way from Rome saying he would rather wait for his big show in April when he will have gathered world leaders to announce some cock and bull of a grand scheme to change the world!

I say to Gordon, we haven’t got till April, mate. Any way, who are you to decide any more? Chancellor Anthony and BoE, you two go ahead and print money like hell. Let me do the worrying.

Back to the military leaders but briefly, before I get back to something really boring I have been doing for the last couple of days. It is re typing a consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon’s report on MRSA to publish on the blog, that cost my English bus driver friend Darren Pilley his right leg:

You all heard of the NATO meeting in the last couple of days in Krakow, Poland. However, you may not know that the Poles are the butt of all jokes in America (Pollocks). President Obama, my fellow American will tell you.

Tomorrow’s wars: Do you need a blacksmith to make fine gold jewellery? Do you need a 24 inch plumber wrench to undo a fine threaded nut on a bicycle? If you know the answer to these, Dunnett et al, then why haven’t you made provisions? If you don’t know the answer, who gave you your jobs? Or is it that your forefathers were born in captivity and you cannot see life without America either?

Well, I’ll tell you. It is possible, and easily so. First, we are no longer a member of NATO as from today. More later.

Yours very truly,

Mohammad Karim Ahmadzai,
Team Leader, Earth Projects

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