Sunday, 4 January 2009

Will be out of station for a while.

Post number 45

Sorry to bother you readers, but we just came in to tell you that we are not working today. In fact, we may not be productive for a day, two, and may be more. If you think this is a let down and we have disappointed you, you would be right. Typical, bloody typical, (tapping fingers on desk), absolutely typical! From John Cleese in Flowery Towels (Faulty Towers) to reflect current mood.

Actually, it is not entirely true that we won’t be working. We will be in the ‘field’ gauging the wind falls post number 44 has produced already in terms of it’s ‘cat among the pigeons’ effects felt already. Even if the probability of our being right is 1 in a trillion, we feel spending time out of station and rendering us unproductive, would be justified.

Wool's arrow may have hit targets at the UN (Ban Kee Moon and Deputy Ambassador A. Wolff), splitting the EU in to few opinions (The Czech Republic, Britain, France, and Spain), Israel (we don’t understand this. They were not the target. Ref: Emphasis on how militarily strong they are. Don’t we all know that?), and Russia teasing Europe to wear wool jumpers (why not? We said 1 in a trillion, right?).

Here is something American intelligence beat us to and was experienced to be ahead of post number 44: The sending of the first commercial flight to Baghdad in 17 years by a Swedish company. OK, good speed of intelligence, but dumb and very funny. This is to do with the Iraqi Sovereignty day. You know the one. Hoisting the flag, military band, and the whole shebang. When a country is sovereign then it would be expected to receive international commercial flights, because it would be odd if the Sovereign Iraq didn’t.

Good thinking Bush. Who did that? The Brookings Institute, The Heritage Foundation, or both heads together? Find the pilot some one and see if he got Made Off’s 50 billion as his first month’s wage paid in advance, in case some one shot him down in his second flight? Do it, Iraq.

How are you, Mr Almalaki? No major diseases, then? You know Cholera, Ebola Virus, and Black Death? Oh, good. Any way, here is something we could expose about you: You are a liar. Nobody should believe Iraqis who can pronounce the sound ‘p’ perfectly as if the sound was in their mother tongue, in your case and that of cabinet, the president, and significant members of parliament, English. You all not only can pronounce the sound perfectly good in the use p, you all even think in English.

We know of one Iraqi who despite spending five years in Britain still can’t pronounce p. He says when the Iraqi national team blayed Saudi Arabia, Iraq beat them. The beoble (players) were Kurds, Sunnis and Shiites. Now if we believe you and your American masters, the 11 players should have killed each other. The one alive should have then minded the goal for the Saudis to keep on shooting. All 11 of them including the goal keeper. The match took place in a post invasion year. So, are all Iraqis united when playing football only? Then let Iraq Play football the whole time.

A bit more: The b using (instead of p) Arabs in general and Iraqis in this case think in Arabic, and their English is a translation of their Arabic thoughts. When this happens, interviewees don’t make sense. The world can listen to interviews with Hamas beoble relating scenes on the war theatre.

What is even more important is that the people with inability to say p are telling the truth! This is difficult to explain to our Western readership, but you and us are quite clear about this, are we not, Mr Noori Almalaki? You sir are a liar, but then we are not doing Iraq today. You just wait till we zoom in on you and your lot, you son of a bitch, you wholesaler of mother Iraq's HONOUR! Compliments by wool, not us. Meanwhile enjoy safety in the Green Zone, the only part of Iraq that is sovereign, or rather, your definition of it.

The point is this: If the Iraqi who spent 5 years in Britain and still has trouble with his ps nad bs, how long were you in Britain (assumed) to have perfected your ps and bs? 20 years, 30 years? Consequently, how Iraqi are you and the cabinet? Probably as Iraqi as we are Afghan. We don't qualify to be an Afghan cabinet minister because we were away when our people suffered decade after decade while we were living elsewhere.

People will not welcome us unless we too lived in an Afghan Green zone. Karzai, an office boy (in the US) of the ruthlless uncivilised, blood thirsty, barbaric, state adminstered terrorist, deputy devil/satan (Sulphur detecting Hugo Chavez) Dick Cheyey, the deputy Emperor, is protected by American body guards in Kabul. But we are not doing Afghanistan today either. So, we won't go there.

Iraq wants a cabinet whose members pronounce their ps as bs. Iraq is not a democracy. All of you traiters were hand picked from outside Iraq, and the beoble voted you all in because you were the only candidates. Brilliant and unity loving Iraqis who remained in Iraq no matter how many million of tons of bombs were thrown on them were not given opportunites to stand as candidates. If you don't see what a farce Iraqi democracy is, it does not mean the rest of Iraq can't see it, or indeed the world can't. We all can. It is you lot with heads bureid in the sand, while the Empire has switched the world off. Shame we are not doing Iraq today, don't you think? Or we will have finished you off right here and right now.

Supporters of the Iraqi regime, watch out. You just read the tip of Iraq ice berg. You will be next according to our simultaneous equations rules. We are gathering momentum, and you will be picked up like a shrivilled up dry leaf by our monster of a road sweeper. Got it? When wool dictates we change the world, then we do take solid steps as a Suomo wrestler.

Now that’s better. Huhhhh! Saying this while metaphorically facing the incumbent, and adding visual effects by recalling the Huhhhh from our American genius, Steve Martin in one his old Hollywood movies.

Talking of Hollywood: Now that they are proven a deadly tool of the blood thirsty, ruthless, vicious, state sponsored and administered terrorist Empire, our field work will include visiting homes to watch Bollywood and their ping pong with Hollywood. We are told we should watch Krresh, a Bollywood copy of Ben Affleck’s comic book adventure – Daredevil. The Bollywood version apparently and shamelessly promotes T-shirts, jeans, little short denim skirts, and combat trousers loaded with suggestive and sensual poses in dance scenes and other places.

India becoming blood thirsty and vicious, Mr Manmohan Singh is hard to take. We will have a closer look to investigate. We already recall your nuclear energy deal with the US, while Iran desperately experiences shortage of electricity. Cities and industries are rationed daily and the world doesn’t know. Mr Mohammad Al Baradi has not mentioned this.

The world of wool demands more direct TV broadcasts from Iran's Mahmood Ahmadi Nejaad, similar to his Christmas day broacast on www. channel4.com British teresterial television.

Let him answer accusations about arming Hamas, developing nuclear weapons and causing trouble in Iraq. Until the day wool's demand is met with and we see the Iranian president or senior cabinet members on our TV screens, all accusations against Iran whether by Israel, the US, Brtain, Dick Cheney and gang, the Czech republic (you are getting warmer for a bollocking, mates) and indeed the UN security council (passing of resolutions)are nul and void.

As we said, the world is switched off. We are drip fed by Georgie boy (the beef man) and gang. Can you measure him for a Guantanamo orange uniform, Barack? He will look good in one. Then we can treat him with the water torture; take him to Waziristan in an extra rendition thingy, and all the rest of it.

Mr Obama, you will note that we just switched on Iran using wool's philosophically derived powers defined earlier. we will both leave it to the world to adjududicate further accusations against Iran. Fair enough? Wool plus facts (if you will) just made life a lot easier for Iran, compliments of CCCC Limited's scoial responsiblity, Barack and the world. You are all customers, indeed.

In case you all wondered why so many topics, you will be pleased to know that the intention is to jam machine and human intelligences in quite a few places to account for our remaining unproductive for a while. We will finish with one for Britain:

We have not seen or heard of another born free man or woman in Britain over the last 22 years of uninterrupted abode here at home in Britain. The closest one we can call a semi born free is the MP Dennis Skinner of the labour party. When he speaks, the house laughs. He is the butt of all the jokes. The people who laugh at him are slaves and born in captivity but may not know it. Wool will ensure soon the last laugh will be on the slaves. Here is an approach:

Let us call a few big ones: Gordon Brown and Front bench, David Cameron, Nick Clegg and their respective front benches are slaves born in captivirty. Even their grand parents were born in captivity. All they know is that they are proud to be the subjects of the vicious blood thirsty Empire. To them, it’s the best freedoms and liberties they can possibly have. They don't know BORN FREE. They don't know us. Mr Skinner, on the other hand may be different and may share some of our views. However, we have not seen each other, don’t know each other and have never spoken either. He may not share our view of Churchill as a slave who became more Roman than Romans, but there you are.

Britain should remember that focusing on the mother of all parliaments is one of our “i”s and it is unpleasant as a palette. So, let us square it for you. The simplest would be to do Churchill. We square the “i” and get minus 1. Now at least he becomes real. However, he still remains negative, -1, or reshuffled to number minus one! He can be made a positive number 1 to match his historic repute. But to do that we will have to square him again.

Now, Britain has a problem. Wool cannot change research rules. If we squared Churchill twice, then wool will have lost all we have built so far, including our making 60 million Brits BORN FREE. That would be a heavy price to pay. Therefore, he keeps his place of being a slave of America as logically derived. More emphatically, he can no longer be respected by this nation now that he is exposed as a slave who became more Roman than Romans themselves.

A simpler derivation would be this, to do his supporters and descendents a favour that we do not owe: The British establishment was humiliated and demoralised in 1929 over the Brirish soldiers wearing Stars and Stripes on their wool tunics to fight for America somewhere. They never asked why should Britain a just retiring empire should fight any where for America (more on this in another post). The soldiers wore Stars & and Stripes but the flag was pinned or sewn onto the jumpers. Since history 9relevent to say wool's causes) was written by people who did not have swimming trunks on but calimed they did, we are not bothered to look up details of the case. Some else can do that, and we will suffice with what we have.

Americans objected to the anamoly (they fabricated it) when they were shocked to see that the Stars & Stripes were not knitted in monolytheticaly in the jumper. The Americans were wrong on this as such details were not specified during initial negotiations. They just drew the knife in a little further for added humiliation. The foreign office objected and demanded an apology, and rightly so. No apology was ever received to date. If it was, then Britain may not have been dragged in to other wars, notably the 2 Gulf Wars and indeed the Afghhan campaign.

Because Churchil is made up to be such a national institution over the decades by the vicious Empire and hos status reinforced by successive ensalved establishments, we take further steps to remove him from our noble nations' tortured memories, whatever it takes to coin a topical phrase we hear constantly. You all remember our blcak is white derivation. We also suggest that readers should bea in mind how old Churchil was in 1929 in terms of making rational decisions and his god given freedom of speech and expression.

We further question his loyalties to this nation considering his mother was an American. Summing all these factors, we declare that his famous quotes of "we fought them on the beaches...." and other rubbish are just tool of the uncivilised and barbaric terrorist Empire of America, just as the IYNF, GM food (Monsanto), America's AIDs campaigns, Hollywood, MTV, CNN and scores other Empire expanding tools are.

So dear Britain: Every time you hear Churchil quoted seen in pictures (still or motion), remeber that he is being flashed at you to terrorise you, just like an American wearing a Stars and Stripes banda and walked in your pub!!! We did, saw the impact and cried for the nation. Now that is commitment to this soil. Chrchil should match it posthumously with the help of the most noted historians and Churchilians from around the world. We will call ours. Oh, yes. We have a few whom we have been hiding right here at home, right C and the team of a score or more fire eating historians? Some are old, retired and available any time a challenge is received.

Now, do you front benchers want to bet your bottom £ that Britain will keep on sacrificing young British lives for the blood thirsty Empire each time America snaps her fingers? Have you all already decided to send extra troops to Afghanistan when Barack Obama becomes the commander in-chief of the not so free world? Of course you have. All the bull shit, all stage managed parlaimentary proceedings and deliberations, during the PMQs and Martin shouting 'orders,orders' and the rest of it are utter national disgrace and insults to the very people who elected you to serve them. You bastards and bitches, wool insists we should call you these. It's been a pleasure to have obliged.

Now then, Barack, stop this Empire shit, because wool has sat out to change the world and will do it without you if wool has to. But then you know that, don’t you really? What can you do? Give us more of the same? Then, we will have to start on you, and that would be fun, because unlike the dumb one, you will reply.

Sorry, got to go. We’ve got a tough question to answer from Afghan cabbies: What language do Scots speak?!! Oh, dear. Contrasts in our life are wonderfully diverse. Afghan rice waiting. Yum, yum.

Editing later. It won’t show on Facebook, but there you go.

Bye.

Mohammad

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