Tuesday, 6 January 2009

So, this Runnymede thing.

Post number 48

So, what will Egham of Runnymede will do for us, then? ‘The life of Brian’ asked this question about what the Romans did for them apart from education, roads and all the rest of it. That was a waste of time. Wool is curious about the future. Wool is smart, and sheep is even smarter. The latter are our big knowledge guns. Wool wants to do it alone, to put fear in the opponents.

Well, here goes:

The list for Egham Congress of born free is updated with names some of which are Ken Livingstone (already in Lord Attenborough’s Mandela Foundation), Annie Lennox, Joan Bakewell, Rabbi Julia Neuyberger, Mikhail Gorbachev, Manic Street Preachers (get those goddamned guitars dusted. We’ve got concerts to do!), and Sir Bob Gildoff.

We will have annual, even bi annual concerts to do in Egham. Wool wants to make it absolutely clear that no one and no band will ever be allowed without express consent and approval of wool. Wool doesn’t care who is more expert in choosing concert givers. No ifs, no buts, no nothing! Huhhh! Got this Huhhh thing by now? Good.

Others wishing to attend Egham Congress of the born free 2009 should apply to the Nelson Mandela Foundation and Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu for admission.

The world will recall that Mohammad is born free. However, his ‘nest’ Egham of Runnymede is not. It is a joke to hold the born free Congress of 2009 (it may take place quite late in the year owing to the work to done) in Mohammad’s nest that is infested with structural evidences of the most uncivilised, ruthless, blood sucking Empire the world has experienced in her entire history. They must be removed.

To remove them, wool needs permission from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth of United Kingdom, Canada (stay with us for this debate), Australia (bear with us), New Zealand (wool respects if your wish to become a republic, but bear with us for now), and elsewhere, to take back the acre of land that Her Majesty gave to the Americans in 1957. Wool requests Her Majesty to accept this blog post as wool’s formal application for consideration.

If wool’s wishes are granted, and wool will know very quickly indeed, then selected members of the Congress of 2009 will finish off the job that Mohammad started in 2003 with his borrowed 20 pound weight sledge hammer. He damaged the American Bar Association’s Magma Carta Memorial, and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Wall overlooking Windsor Castle, constantly reminding Mohammad’s Egham who the boss was. Kennedy was telling Her Majesty, and still is that Kennedy, the blood sucker was the boss every time she looked out of the windows of the castle. Meanwhile, successive parliaments held sessions and made utter prat of themselves to the intellectuals of this proud and noble nation, ladies and gentlemen of the world.

If our wishes are granted, then Nelson Mandela, Ken Livingstone, Dennis Skinner MP (the partially born free man, it is assumed, but wool takes its chances), John Presott (he can punch. Show us how you can use a sledge hammer matey. Huhhhh!), Bono, and Sir Bob Gildoff (use the fucking sledge hammer if you want them to give you the fucking money, Sir Bob!) to take sledge hammers and finish the job while the BBC and Jon Snow (with cousins Peter ‘the swingometer man’ and historian son) televise proceedings to the world.

We take a tangent for the sake of the vital importance of the British identity, culture, history, innovation, productivity, removing mental illness, and more: Morris dancing and Scottish Caber throwing and equivalent Welsh values (Lord Kinnock), and Northern Irish values (Mr Mcguinnes and the retired Rev Ian Paisley who will not need a loud hailer, please).

To popularise Morris dancing and Caber throwing and ALL OTHERS, you will need to be as smart as wool. First, you need to bring Dr Neil ? and team who do BBC TV programmes on coast. Wool says don’t ask. Just do it! Honestly, this wool thing is getting too carries away, but assures Mohammad that it is taking solid Suomo steps. Mohammad says, OK. You are the boss, wool.

Morris dancers and kilt wearing Caber throwers should Morris dance their ways to the American Embassy in Grovesner Square, London while wearing Adidas, Nike, Puma and other sub intelligent designer trainer wear and toss them on the Embassy grounds. You will then wear you Doc Marten shoes and boots and dance and Caber throw your way back to homes. NO VIOlENCE. Show the world your real values.

Doc Marten was as important as Morris Dancing an Caber throwing are and are dying, the shy youth who are emvbarrassed to take up Morris dancing. The designer trainers and the rest of the MTV culture, Hollywood, KFC, McDonalds, and the rest have brained washed you not to be proud of your values. Have we helped you to look at things with fresh perspectives? Oh, good. We thought so.

New business for Doc Marten: Start up! A message to the Italians: You lot had kept your quality shoe making equipment for a rainy day. It has come. Start making quality shoes like crazy. People will buy them now that China and Vietnam have been crippled by the economic downturn, labour and production costs.

End of tangent.

After demolishing the Empire’s symbolisms, Congress of born free can have a cup of tea at the Magna Carta Tea Rooms conveniently cited at the foot of the ill thought monuments. They can then proceed to Royal Holloway campus and start the Congress in born free Egham.

How will New Yorkers live with newly established legacy of the John F Kennedy International Airport is something President Obama will capably deal with. Wool of Runnymede has a wealth of knowledge that will gladly place at the disposal of president Obama and our American cousins with pleasure. Representatives of the now Runnymede Congress of the born free headed by Nelson Mandela and Arch Bishop Tutu will travel to Washington and present things Runnymede is natural at since 1215.

Manmohan Singh of India to note. Runnymede made your biggest democracy in the world. Pay respect.

With these measures, Egham, London, and the United Kingdom will be the coolest (not certainly Clima-Cool, Adidas), wisest, safest, smartest place to invest in.

Watch every thing change now, world. The stock market, shares, wars and all else. Crisis in the Middle East? What crisis? Give it six months.



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