Sunday, 14 December 2008

Who may put spanners in the works?

Post number 29

Oppositions you are up against when setting up the knitting café:

First, thanks to a lot of Facebook people who have requested to become friends? It is impossible to acknowledge you all personally, but please note that you are all friends if you have been following blog posts, especially those relating to Adidas and their doing away with the lovable V-necked cable net.

Second, a note on uniforms: Best to call it ‘dress code’. Uniform hints towards militancy which is not part of our philosophies. We therefore recommend that people of the knitting café and our followers in general do not wear combat trousers with pockets every where for storing hand grenades, and spare rounds of ammunition for our hand guns we are not supposed to carry.

Governments are spending millions to eradicate terrorism tendencies from our societies. Fashion promotes terrorism by publicising combat trousers throughout the globe. Indian music channels and even Afghan TV promote combat trousers. Dance troops and TV presenters are clad in combat trousers, jeans and T-shirts. Afghan government and friends fight domestic and international terrorism while Afghan TV and Indian dance troops encourage people to wear combat trousers. Strictly speaking, how can we tell the difference?

Keep combat trousers for when you go paint balling and orienteering. There should be no place for them in offices, shops unless you can justify to yourself wearing them, dance floors and all other places you shouldn’t wear them. Our people wearing crisply pressed jeans will not ask you why you are wearing them but will return your stares at their pressed jeans.

We said in the last post that societies have been indoctrinated over the last 2 decades (since the collapse of wool market as a result of dry cleaning failing to clean). Here is an innocuous example by a powerful global multi national who have turned their back on wool:

A Coco Chanel advert on British terrestrial TV shows a hunk wearing a vest in a perfume commercial(not even a T-shirt). The power of the vest makes Nicole Kidman fall in his arms and they kiss passionately. If it was the power of the perfume to do its magic, then the hunk would have been running towards Nicole Kidman. But no, Nicole did the running, perfume and all. Wow, if a vest (normally worn under a shirt) can do that, imagine what any of you (we mean men) could do to Nicole Kidman if you wore a T-shirt, wrinkled jeans or combat trousers. We could tell you had it not been for children reading this. Societies have been put in a trance over the last 2 decades by changes such as ‘dressing down’, doing away with the neck tie, doing away with button down blouses, and others you could think of.

We like doing things to Nicole Kidman. Who wpouldn't? But we rather did it wearing a Saville Row suit, a Thomas Pink shirt (full sleeves to hide our tattoos) and Thomas Pink tie with tasteful cuff links. If Nicole still prefers to run towards the idiot with the vest, then 'she is not worth it' no matter what the shampoo commercial says.

Even the good old BBC may find this contradiction interesting: A BBC public information clip on BBC TV 1 and 2 promotes DAB digital radio for a Christmas gift instead of a wool jumper. The latter is shown neatly folded in the wardrobe, being eaten by moth balls. On the other hand, ‘Farming Today’ over on BBC Radio 4 promotes issues to do with farming and related rural economy issues reported once that farmers actually sheer sheep at a loss of £0.30 per head of sheep. Couldn't the BBC find any other example of an unwanted Christmas gift? Why the poor wool jumper especially if the clip is shown before C BBs (children's viewing).

Organisers of the knitting café may draw the attention of the controlers of BBC TV and Radio 4 to be consistent in their informing the public. This would be a good way to open BBC doors to the philosophies the knitting café will follow to reverse the trend on using wool for clothes in future.

We might as well finish this post with something to do with T-shirts. Promoters are so well geared to convey their messages across that no sooner than we mentioned T-shirts in the blog, an advert appeared on our Facebook home page prompting us to buy Jack Nicholson’s T-shirts at £17 each in 7 different colours. While we will do no such thing (we have enough T-shirts to wear around the house or if we ever decide to go to a gym, or do things to Nicole Kidman), we list out below other T-shirts that flogs. T-shirts that rock are:

50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s Rock Stars, Punk New Wave, Blue Jazz, Soul Funk, Country Folks, Full Colours, Guitar Heroes, Comedy Movie Stars (T-shirt showing John Cleese’s Silly Walks from the Ministry of Silly Walks), The World (could be Word) Countries Cities Club, Kids T-shirts (!), and Dave Gilmore T-shirts.

The compilation may have been intelligently put together in ways beyond our comprehension to prolong the trance and spill we’ve been inflicted with, but may not be. However, the knitting café can approach the groups and enquire if they have objections to our printing wool jumpers and knitting patterns (for example) on T-shirt fronts and link them to their names. In other words, will they support our drives to bring wool back in fashion? If not why not, and publish their views on the café’s website. You will have a website and will update it daily. CCCC will supply you with material if you fall short, compliments of our social responsibility. We have 20 years of stuff that is dying to be published.

Stella Masters of British Housewives’ League, 17 Osborne Road, Palmers Green, London N13 5PT, writes that wool is still the best fabric for clothing. Send her a snail mail or email your suggestions to her on

Always recommend 5 friends and family to read the blog and become Facebook friends.



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