Wednesday, 31 December 2008

The UN with no swimming trunks!

Post number 42

Heaven forbid, but the United Nations appears to have been caught with no swimming trunks on, when we discovered the FAO drafted a hilarious 2009 IYNF itinerary.Pages from website www.fao.org/es/esc/en/15/320/highlight_322.html have been removed and replaced by a single page with far lesser details. Conference dates and venues have disappeared, but we had copied details from the pages that have now been removed by the FAO.

If it is to do with our arriving on the scene and making a case for British wool, then we are delighted that we are read by the FAO, and that some one there is working over the festive season just as we are. We are pleased.

If Ban Kee Moon may have been called the bare bottom uni lateral, uni polar world leader’s glove puppet by someone else with the leader’s hand firmly inserted up Mr Moon's bottom making him move and do thing or not on invading countries etc, is none of our business. However, when it comes to UN’s endangering the UK’s economy through suffocating her wool trade, then we do take exception and confirm that the US’s hand is firmly stuck in Mr Moon’s backside if our exposing the cotton over-kill during the IYNF is justified.

We have reshuffled the itinerary to expose the unfair bias towards cotton in next year’s programmes:

Italy will host 2 events in February and April on COTTON and composites for industrial applications.

Belgium will host one event, a reception on 17 February, sponsored by IWTO (WOOL).

Bangladesh will host one on 8-9 February on JUTE.

USA will host 3 events on 30 March – 1 April, on natural fibres and their role in the carbon economy (wood composites, not wool), 3 – 7 June on Alpaca WOOL, and 16 October, New York SHEEP and WOOL Festival.

Egypt will host one event on 7 – 9 April, Textile Research Division (ITRD). We know Egypt has one of the best quality COTTONS (11th largest COTTON producer). Therefore heavy emphasis will be placed on COTTON.

New Zealand will host 3 events, with Australia sharing one of them on 15 -17 April on fibre composition for industrial applications (?! Why not wool for textiles?), 16 – 19 April on Creative Fibre Festival (?!), and 27 September to 2 October Felt makers Convention (?!).

India will host 2 events. One of the events between 22 January and ? February in Mumbai is cancelled (understandably), but as we know the event will have leant heavily on GM/BT COTTON with SILK, JUTE, WOOL, and others covered too, and 16 – 18 April on BT COTTON.

Poland will host 2 events on 22 May, and 3 – 4 September both on COTTON.
Germany will host 2 events on 27 – 28 May on HEMP and International Natural Fibres Congress. The latter organised Messe Frankfurt. Remember them from IWTO's Congress of 07 in Edinburgh?

Switzerland will host I event, 21 – 25 September on Fair Trade COTTON.

South Africa will host 2 events, 7 – 11 September on COTTON, and 3 – 8 November on MOHAIR.

Philippines will host 1 event on JUTE, KENAF and ALLIED FIBRES.

China will host 1 event in March or April (dates not specified), natural fibres exhibition and symposium. We know this will be on COTTON, even BT COTTON.

Canada will host 1 event, 26 June – 3 July, Old College Fibre Week.

Britain (last and least) will host the final event of the year, 14 – 15 December, in London, Institute of Materials, Minerals and Mining (?!). Britain is the only country who has been given a deadline of 31 March to submit papers.

Our comments: An intelligent look at the list above will tell readers that there will be 7 events on COTTON, including one on Fair Trade COTTON that we support whole heartedly. We have one provision to suggest: If countries promoting Fair Trade COTTON produce the BT variety, then sensitivities in import destinations must be respected. Britain is covered in BT cotton jeans, denims, T-shirts (even the Jack Nicholson, and Tommy Hilfiger types) sold mainly at TESCO, SAINSBURY, ASDA and other high street giants who do not sell GM food but have no morals and ethics about selling BT cotton.

Wool has 1 event in Brussels to be hosted by Mr Henrik Kuffner’s IWTO. Mr Kuffner is our proactive link with the pretend swimming trunk wearers – the UN General Assembly. We expect a lot from Mr Kuffner as he will perceive from this blog post.

Britain, her history of 6,000 years of wearing wool, food security (mutton and ewe dairy products), culture, tradition, innovation and much more besides, have been insulted by the bare bottom (known as ass in New York and other habitable parts of the US) General Assembly. British sheep will no longer tolerate insults thrown at her by a uni polar super power who can only boast a history of 300 years at best, with hand firmly stuck in UN chief's bottom. America wiped out the indigeous history whose people may have worn wool.

New York hosting the sheep and wool show! That must be a joke. President-Elect Barack Obama must realise that British sheep’s masters (farmers), and their neighbours (the rest of the population) had respect for America while they all believed America was wearing swimming trunks. Now that the sheep knows the facts and America f***** things up big time, our sheep is laughing, also big time. The sheep talks, you know? And because she does, we all laugh.

British sheep is not the only one who is insulted. Australians and New Zealanders, numbers 1 and 2 wool producers, have been given composite fibres, creative fibre festival, and felt making to do; while their best quality WOOL is exported to and buried in China. What happened at the General Ass Embly? The over bearing non swim suit wearing US delegation over-powered Australian and New Zealanders to shut up by making a compromise? An Alpaca show in the US lasting 5 days?! How significant is Alpaca compared to sheep wool, as much as CCCC Limited would love see loads of Alpaca in British shops?

We could go on but will save further embarrassments to those concerned without repeatedly naming them.

We truly believe that wool has exposed problem areas that president-elect Obama can look in to and address effectively. Gone are the days that the world of wool followed America’s leadership blindly. British wool's people, for one thing, had a tremendous and immeasurable amounts of good well towards America, but not wearing swimming trunks changed all that for good. The British after talking to sheep followed America every where and made utter prat of Britain in world’s eyes. No more. Australians and New Zealanders and other 100 wool producers can speak for themselves. Meanwhile, Australia can remain faithfully wedded to their V-neck cricket wool jumpers as reported by Mr Kidd in the Times of 18 April this year.

Adidas, Which? Magazine, hydrocarbon, GreenEarth, Fred Butler, Proctor & Gamble (you have 90 in-house entrepreneurs) and General Electric. Oh, well. Perhaps, you will not ignor the next old man who may have a point to make for your benefits as well as his. We are hear if you want to talk business. There is still time where human intelligence can out do computers as Silicon Valley and all the rest of them will find out at their own costs. There are third world entrepreneurs that can do things with a few thousand pounds in rooms shared by 5 of them while others demanded and got 20 million pounds, got BMWs, glass and steel houses to work, live, and leisure from with hot and cold comforts on taps. We hear the world of venture capitalists is gone. We understand there is no more cash going around. Lean times are ahead and we need lean time entrepreneurs to match.

The FAO was wise to take down the old itinerary from the web. A revised issue is needed for implementation however late it is in the day. If the FAO intends to go ahead and implement the old itinerary, devised by lying bare assed people at the helm, then the world of wool will laugh all the year round. We at CCCC Limited and with Mr Kuffner as the go between will ensure they will. We haven’t even mentioned our UK youth et al, the Survival Clubs, and the London knitting café who must be busy at work while we speak to FAO and others.

Why not finish with a story from Zambia?

King of the jungle, the lion, had a hearty meal (a whole deer) and was lying under a tree shade, relaxing. He got bored and thought of going around and asking his subjects for confirmation that he indeed was the only king. He asked the Kudu who the king was. The deer bowed, and affirmed that there was no other king but his majesty the lion. He repeated the question to the buffalo, zebra and the rest. They all acknowledged the lion as their supreme monarch. A sort of Turkmenbashi of the 'BT COTTON democracy'. You know what else TUrkmenbashi has done? He has banned beards in a muslim country, just because beard is wool and he is playing his part in killing wool. His book Rukhnama is a compulsary text book in Turkmen schools, and is translated to two world langauges, including an African one.

War against terror = war against wool = war against beards? We'd better not develop this one or we will be here all day. Can you imagine the Cuban Missile crisis as a cover for war against Castro's wool? Raising hell in Vietnam because of Ho Che Minh's facial wool? Wow! We told you wool will never fail us. Back to the story:

The king then approached the elephant. Now, the elephant had a rough night, hadn’t slept and the wife was nagging him. He was in a terrible mood as the king arrived to ask the question. When he did, the elephant without replying, twisted his trunk around the lion’s waist and hurled him against a tree trunk while other obedient subjects watched in horror. The king with bruised ribs and deeply embarrassed, tried to regain some of his dignity and the told the elephant: “Look here! You don’t have to go ape Sh** if you don’t know the answer. Just a simple ‘I don’t know’ would have done”.

There may be a listen here for those who said they were wearing swimming trunks but were caught without any.

Have a wonderful new year every one. There is so much to look forward to. There really is, you know?

Mohammad

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